Emotions Are Treacherous
by Full of Ennui
Summary: A sad Thalia/Luke songfic and oneshot from Luke's point of view, to the lyrics of In the End by Linkin Park. Sequel to Pain Is Safety- but you don't have to have read that to read this. They're not written one after the other- so read and review, yesyes?


**Feelings Are Treacherous**

**Treachery Is Sexy**

**A/N:** This is a Thalia/Luke songfic, Luke's PoV. This is a sequel to Pain Is Safety, a Thalia/Luke songfic in Thalia's point of view, but you're not required to have read that to read this. They're just oneshots- they're not a series, really, but I call them that because they have the same mood and feeling about them. This is the lyrics of _In The End_ by Linkin Park.

_It starts with  
One thing, I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time_

Better to be a blithering idiot than a betraying friend, I always say. Everyone knows that. It's my quote, the one that I would have put in the yearbook when I graduated if I'd gone to a normal high school. If I'd gone to a high school at all, really. I've never even been taught normal things. I mean, I went to elementary school and middle school, but most of what they taught us was bogus. You can't trust mortals once they tell you that good always prevails. No one is pure evil, and no one is just good. People are shades of gray, some black and some white, and some have to make a choice of whether to be a blithering idiot or a betraying friend. I envy them. I didn't get a choice. I am both.

_  
All I know  
time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away_

A blithering idiot, a betraying friend. Now Percy gets all the glory. To think that I taught him how to swordfight! He moves like he's a fly in a plastic box. And Annabeth... she'll never amount to anything. She dreams of building the world anew, with new designs of her own inventions. I know that that will never happen, because I've tried it. And my cities, my world, came crashing down around me._  
It's so unreal, didn't look out below  
Watch the time go right out the window  
Trying to hold on but didn't even know  
Wasted it all just to watch you go_

Grover the satyr. An interesting topic, to say the least. Yes, Kronos predicted that he would be the one to find Pan, and he did all he could to help him along his way. Pan is- was- a formidable power, and it would be easier to win with him gone. All of the satyrs would split up, depressed, to their own part of the wild, and then Camp Half-Blood would have even small defenses- not that the satyrs helped much, but with most of them gone, Grover would most likely be upset, and that would mean that the power of Pan would manifest itself less in him. No more Panic for a while, young satyr... just chaos and death.

_  
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me, will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard  
And got so far, but in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

You'd think that any time I wanted to get out of here, I could. And I can. I can walk out of the ship, or jump out my window. But in truth, I'm not imprisoned on the Princess Andromeda. I'm imprisoned in my own mind. You have no idea how it feels, knowing that he can be there at any moment, watching. Even now I feel his presence lurking at the back of my mind, waiting, skulking among the shadows, pricking my ideas with a sharp intensity. He can talk to me wherever I am now. I will never escape him.

_  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
One thing, I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme  
To remind myself how I tried so hard_

I _am_ him.

_  
In spite of the way you were mocking me  
Acting like I was part of your property  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so far_

And you have no idea how much I regret it, with every fiber of my being, physical and metaphysical, emotional and mental. You have no idea, young half-blood. And now the time is coming. I must prepare myself. For now that Kronos and I are blended in mind and soul... we must be separated. I must be dominated. He must be in control. And that means that I... that I must disappear completely.

_Things aren't the way they were before  
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore  
Not that you knew me back then  
But it all comes back to me  
In the end_

Inevitable, really.

_  
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard  
And got so far, but in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

So if you ever think of what you'd benefit from if you joined the dark side, take it from me. You may have been snubbed by your Olympic parent, and maybe even your mortal one, but they never do it without a reason. My father, he thought that by staying away, I might realize that I didn't hate him as much. He tried to give me a quest of importance, but failed. If you get a quest, demigod, trust me: as much as you may assume, nothing is what it seems. And sometimes assumptions can amount to something quite disastrous if not corrected in time. Better that they never appear at all.

_  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
For all this there's only one thing you should know_

So maybe I will escape from him after all... in the most efficient way possible, anyways. He'll always haunt my mind, even in death... oh, how I wish that things had gone differently. So, young halfblood, pay attention to what I say next. Don't let the Titans, or your own bad choice, ruin your life. There's always another path... it's whether you choose to follow it or not that matters.

_  
I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
For all this there's only one thing you should know_

Believe what you must. But when you're considering joining up with Kronos, remember this. No, remember me. Remember the one that thought he had it all made, the one that lost it all in the fire of his own ambition. Remember the one that destroyed everything that he had, that he had worked for, that his friends had done for him and others. Remember Luke Castellan, son of Hermes... worker of Death.

_  
I tried so hard and got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

Death. It's all I know now. And after this, it's all I'll ever know again.


End file.
